A Little Good News Came My Way

I heard from my family doctor yesterday.  I’d had a blood test last week to see if my new blood pressure medicine would alleviate some of the problems we were seeing with my blood chemistry.  The calcium was too high, vitamin D too low.  Para- something-or-other was out of whack!  And a couple of other things.  I should pay closer attention to the details!

But about three weeks ago she put me on something without the diuretic and it seems to have all balanced out.  This is a little thing in the scheme of things right now, but I’ll take it!  Cancel the endocrinologist and the blood test for Monday!!  Woohoo!  Things are going great today!  Yipee!!

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I’m feeling like a pin cushion today!

I went to the hospital for a little while today to have some tests done in preparation for my surgery next week.  They have to be sure I am healthy enough to go through it. 

I can’t even remember how many times I have been stuck in the last 3 weeks.  Needles to put stuff in and needles to take stuff out.  Biopsy - twice.  MRI.  CT/Bone Scan.  Blood test a few times.  Ugh.  I don’t have a fear of needles and I don’t mind blood.  Sometimes it does hurt a little.  Only one time could they not find a vein and have to start over!  But enough already!

I will be so glad when this is all over.

My family doctor is still trying to get my meds and blood chemistry figured out.  I go back to her to have another blood test on Monday.  And I am to see an endocrinologist in a few weeks.

The other test I had done today was an EKG.  No problems there.  No wait.  No changing clothes.  It took longer to get the electrodes on and off than to take the test.

 

I'm ready.  Can we get on with it!?

 
Now to him who is able to do
immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,
according to his power that is at work within us,
 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus
throughout all generations, for ever and ever!
 Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21

Hypomone = "to bear up under"

Have you been wondering about the meaning of hypomone?  (Who-poe-me-nay)  Have you googled it?  It’s a Greek word used repeatedly in the Bible and means “to bear up under” or “endure”.  I pray that this is how I can respond to the trials and tribulation I have to go through.

The noun hypomone usually denotes courageous, steadfast, or patient "endurance" that does not lose hope in the face of obstacles, persecutions, trials, or temptations.

To bear up under, endure, suffer patiently,

Heb. 10
³² Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. ³³ Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. ³⁴ You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. ³⁵ So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.³⁶ You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised
It means to continue firmly, hold out, remain constant, persevere.

Mt. 24:13  

But the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

Perseverance – Is perseverance simply gritting your teeth and enduring the pain? Does God expect you to white-knuckle your way through the trials of life? Are you supposed to hold your breath until it’s over? We might be inclined to answer “Yes” to these questions if we think of the English sense of perseverance. But perhaps we need to look a little deeper.

The Greek word hypomonen comes from the root mone and the prefix hypo. The literal combination is “to remain under,” that is, “to stay in place.” We should think of this in military terms. God puts you in position. You might not have asked to be placed where He puts you (Adam didn’t ask to be put into the Garden), but it is His choice, not yours. Wherever He puts you, you are simply asked to stand.

The King sets His troops where they best serve His purposes. Once you are put in place, you are instructed not to surrender the ground to the enemy. That’s all. You don’t have to advance the battlefront. You don’t have to attack the next hill. All you have to do is hold the ground God has given you. To persevere is not to surrender an inch of territory to any kind of attack. So perseverance is not about hiding from trouble. When the enemy brings the battle, we stand until God provides reinforcements.

Without afflictions there is no opportunity to stand. Without tests there is no chance to succeed. Without trial there is no victory.

Romans 5:3-5 NASB

And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations; knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint .

No Joy

There is a show on TV about a SWAT team.  When the sniper is trying to obtain a target he talks about joy.  If he doesn’t have a clear shot he says “No Joy”.  Whenever I heard that phrase I felt a tug at my heart.  Not because of the show, but because I was feeling no joy.

How could that be?  What was wrong with me?  I knew that the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.  I walk with the spirit, but I was missing the joy.  I wasn’t feeling it, and hadn’t, for many months.

Last June I was a much different person than I am now.  I had given my life to Christ when I was 16, but lately I had felt like I was walking in mud up to my knees.  The sun was shining on my face but every day I was just slogging along. I tried to figure out when that had started.  Was it when I left Virginia?  When I left California?  When the kids graduated from high school?  When I changed jobs?  I couldn’t pinpoint it.  Something was different.  Something was not right.

We were visiting a church when I heard a message about James 3:14.  We had missed the first part of the series, but God in his wisdom had us at the right place at the right time.  This verse says, “But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.”  Not the same kind of encouraging verses I have been sharing with you, is it? 

At our usual Sunday lunch, when the family sits around the table and reviews, discusses and dissects the weekly sermon, I said to my loving children and darling husband, “So…you don’t think I harbor bitter envy or selfish ambition, do you?”  Without hesitation or a dissenting opinion each one said, “Oh, yes you do. Both!”  The discussion went on for a little while, as you can imagine, but I took it to heart.  I left a few days after that to spend a couple of weeks with my mom next to the Snake River in beautiful Idaho, and each day while I was there I prayed and meditated on this verse.  Especially the part about bitter envy and selfish ambition.

Very soon I came to understand how I had fallen short in this area and thanked God for forgiving me, and I asked Him to show me what I should do.

I’ve come to understand that the selfish ambition part is lack of humility.  Who is going to be the “boss” of my life?  God or me? 

I want to be top dog! I want things my way!  I owe it to myself to take some time off and be lazy.  I should be recognized for my status as mother and wife.  I should be celebrated for all the work I do.  I’m right and you should listen to me.  I want the glory.  It’s all about me.

When I recognized that I was doing this, and that pride and not humility was what I was achieving, things began to change for me.  The more I was able to give up control of my life and let God take over, the more I began to find the joy I had been missing.  It still takes a lot of prayer and I still backslide a lot, but I’m getting there.

This was not a new concept for me.  I think I was too proud to think I wasn’t humble.  Now, when I realize I am concerned about my standing, or my status, or the conversation is close to an argument about who gets their way in a given situation, I catch myself.  I know it’s not about me.  It’s about the perfect God who rules over me with love. Greater love than I can understand.  So I back off and turn the situation over to Him.  Or I try to.

James 4:10
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

Amen

Making plans for the next steps

We met with the plastic surgeon yesterday (Doctor V.) and came to some conclusions.   I will have reconstruction done and it will be done at the same time as the surgery.  I am going to have it all done on Tuesday, April 2.  I think it will be in the afternoon.  I will stay in the hospital for 2 nights unless I want to stay longer or leave sooner.  Two sounds good to me, right now.

Erik (my son) is going to be in DC for opening day (of baseball season) and will come up here Tuesday morning to be with us for several days.  He has a job where he can work from home, anybody’s home.  So he will do it from mine.  I think it will be pretty boring for him, but I appreciate his sacrifice on my behalf.

I had hoped to be back at work the next day, but maybe not.  The doc says he doesn’t want me to shower for a week.  I don’t think my office mates will appreciate the condition that might put me in.  I’ve been with them only six months, and I won’t press our friendship with this personal hygiene situation.

Sounds like I will be tired and sore for several days.  I am really hoping the weather is nice.  I’d love to be outside a little bit.  The way the weather has been these last few days, we will be lucky to have warm days by Memorial Day.

I’m not looking forward to this, but I am so thankful that it is so well contained and I am so thankful that I have so many people around me who are concerned for me.

Thanks for hanging in there with me.  I have received many verses to put up on my walls.  Each one gives me great peace and encouragement.  On the Fourth of July, when we are watching the fireworks, from many places around the country, I hope we will be thanking our Heavenly Father that this trial is successfully over.

Psalm 121
¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
⁸ the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

 

Amen

First Day of Spring

Is that snow I see falling from the sky?

I’m doing pretty well today.

I’ve had exercise and vitamins for 2 days in a row, and I’m sleeping well.  I will be ready whenever this happens!

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father,
who loves us and by His grace
gave us eternal encouragement and good hope,
comfort and strengthen your heart
in every good deed and word.

II Thessalonians 2:16-17

We’ve all got something

A couple of weeks ago I was diagnosed with cancer, but many of my friends and family have things going on that are at least, and in my mind more,  difficult to cope with.  When I think of the things that you all have going on, I am thankful that cancer is all I have to deal with right now.  I learn from your example of grace and patience and strength.

You have health issues, some that have been going on for years.  One friend has a morphine pump attached to her because of intense pain all the time.  Another friend has had a headache for more than a month.  Another has back problems.  I know a lady with MS and my sis has fibromyalgia.  Fortunately I don’t have ongoing pain.

Some of you have issues with your children.  They have allergies, asthma, or behavioral problems. Your kids are sick and in some cases you have lost a child.  You’ve sat in the hospital while they have operations, or worse, and you support them through learning disabilities or great disappointments and struggles.

You have lost your jobs or cars and don’t know what is going to happen to you.  You have had fires in your homes, or burglaries and have been in car accidents.  You have lost your spouses and your pets.

We’ve all got something we have to get through.  And my cancer is not the worst of it.  I am praying for you.  I could never handle what some of you go through every day.  I am blessed by your caring and your prayers.  Your smiles and your fist bumps remind me of the fact that I am not alone in facing difficulties. 

Psalms 46:1

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.